existentialism

What I was always intended to do by Nathan Jones

Now I recognize it for what it was: the realization that I had at last settled down to the serious business of living: that after the long-drawn-out and messy years of childhood, and the teenage agonies of self-consciousness, I had at last ceased to waste my time; I was starting to do what I was always intended to do. There was a feeling like leaving harbour.
— Colin Wilson in The Outsider, Twenty Years On